Marketing with a Thigh Master

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Yeah…Good Luck with That

You’ve seen them…the infomercials with the latest revolutionary fitness gadget—the Ab Lounger, the Body Blade, the Horse Riding Fitness Ace Power Machine (yes, really). But the queen of farcical fitness flops had to be the Thigh Master.
If you were anywhere near a TV in the 1990’s for more than 5.3 minutes, you likely witnessed the rise of this gadget made of two pieces of foam-covered metal tubing connected by a hinge—peddled by the ubiquitous, ever-smiling thigh jockey, Suzanne Somers. The thing looked like a spring-loaded nutcracker on steroids, and a painful accident in the making. Millions of women were disillusioned when it didn’t make them look like Chrissy from Three’s Company.
Any good fitness professional will tell you that there’s no substitute for having a balanced and healthy diet and regular exercise. There are no easy short cuts. Only those who are paid to lie will tell you that you can have six-pack abs and bulging muscles while watching television, sporting a smile like you just ate a Twinkie.
But we’re over the Thigh Master now, right? We’re far too sophisticated to think that Shake Weights will actually make us look like Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson…right?
Why is it, then, that so many people market with the Thigh Master? “Facebook ads are going to grow my business, right?” Not in isolation. Not if the ads don’t present a compelling message. “Once I get on Instagram, I will get the exposure I need.” Then what?
The bottom line is this: Marketing isn’t about quick fixes, silver bullets or package deals you purchase on the Internet. You’re going to have to put the work in—there’s no way around it. To have a healthy, robust business, you’re going to have to work every angle. There is no miracle shortcut. You’re going to need creativity, solid brand strategy, and a wide range of media touchpoints to build your business and keep it strong!
Postscript: All 17 of the dudes who actually fell for Thigh Master’s bicep trainer sales pitch were successfully treated for black eyes due to Thigh Master backlash. Sadly, they are still waiting to be re-issued their man-cards.
Kelly Walker is the host of A Swig of Branding, Creative Director for Intrepid Marketing, and a Senior Copywriter with over 20 years experience. He has masterminded scores of high-profile brand identity projects, written hundreds of ads and taught college-level marketing and copywriting courses. He resides in Bend, Oregon with his wife Andrea, four boys and (finally) a little girl due September, 2015

(Photo above: photos | Courtesy of Intrepid Marketing)

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About Author

Kelly Walker, MS for SWIVEL

Kelly Walker is the host of A Swig of Branding, creative director for Intrepid Marketing and a senior copywriter with over 20 years experience. He has masterminded scores of high-profile brand identity projects, written hundreds of ads and taught college-level marketing and copywriting courses. He resides in Bend with his wife Andrea, four boys and (finally) a little girl due September, 2015.

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