(Photo courtesy of Partners In Care)
As a caregiver or family member with a chronically ill loved one, you are likely overwhelmed with a volume of emotionally charged experiences every day. You want what’s best for your loved one or patient, so it’s important to be aware of what is known as compassion fatigue.
Compassion fatigue has been defined as an indifference to the charitable appeals on behalf of those who are suffering. Because care giving is one of the most rewarding, but also challenging, human experiences there is, it is normal to experience ups and downs when providing intimate care for someone important to you.
The good news? There is help for those who help. First, watch for symptoms of compassion fatigue. Some signs you may recognize that could be affecting you and your ability to stay engaged as a caregiver include the following:
Physical signs
– Feeling physically tired even after rest
– Feeling tense, even while resting
– Sleep patterns are off; you can’t fall asleep or you can barely stay awake
– Poor immunity; you get ill during periods of rest or vacation
Emotional signs
– Experiencing extreme high or low emotions; feeling weepy or quick to anger while navigating normal day-to-day challenges
– Feeling guilty, thinking that you have it much easier than the person you are caring for
– Feeling like you are empty or depleted from giving help and compassion
– Feeling resentful
Mental signs
– Wondering if what you are doing really matters
– Dreading activities that used to be positive or neutral
– Inability to concentrate on the task at hand; ideas and thoughts jump from one subject to another
– Continually visualizing a recent trauma or event
Relational signs
– Being over-vigilant to the safety of those in your care
– Feeling responsible for every outcome, whether it is in your control or not
– Socializing only with those who do the same work as you
– Avoiding; running late, being too busy with personal issues, absenteeism, substance abuse
The good news? There are behaviors and attitudes you can choose to help address these challenges and be your best self. The truth is that you can’t be your best self and a compassionate caregiver unless you care for yourself. Integrating self-care into your life is a choice you make.
Six simple tips to help you deal with compassion fatigue:
1. Choose to be happy.
Happiness is a choice. Choose to be the first to smile and greet others. It sets the tone for the day and attracts kindness and compassion back to you.
2. Choose your team.
Teamwork makes hard tasks easier. Don’t do it alone. Enlist family, friends, service organizations and community resources to help you do your best for your loved one or client.
3. Choose to be mindful.
You can’t miss the news that meditation, journaling, being in the moment, praying or yoga are today’s antidotes to stress and anxiety. A short 20-minute session of any of these activities can bring a sense of peace and replenishment.
4. Choose to make time for you.
Get outside, get some sleep, have a laugh, connect with a friend. All of these moments can improve your mood and energize you.
5. Choose your battles.
Care giving is definitely emotional, so learn to prioritize the relationship over the tasks. Count on some things not working as planned and then … let it go. Recognize that sometimes our biggest enemy is perfection.
6. Choose to end well.
No matter how your day went, choose to end it on a good note. Acknowledge the challenges that you face, credit yourself for the intention of providing the best care you can, know that caregiver is a noble calling and that compassion for others – and yourself – is a high virtue.
The more you choose to care for yourself, while you are caring for others, the more you will be sustained and preserve compassion in your work and everyday life.
Lorie Weber is the Outreach Director at Partners In Care, Central Oregon’s only independent, non-hospital based, not-for-profit hospice, home health and palliative care organization. For more information, visit partnersbend.org.
