Clients from CEO’s to Sales Managers to those rapidly climbing the ladder readily admit to being their own worst enemy. Surely everyone reading this article has uttered those words from time to time, or someone has given you that feedback.
Contrary to their belief, continually criticizing or second guessing yourself does not move you forward on your road to success.
Yes, self evaluation is important. Yet listening to that nagging inner critic in your mind is self defeating. Familiar forms of “I’m not good enough” messages no longer serve you.
I am saddened in listening to highly successful clients who are still haunted by ‘not good enough’ messages from decades ago. Do you think Olympic athletes achieve their goals through believing age old, inaccurate, self defeating messages?
It’s time to change your inner talk, beginning today. Consider one of my Top ‘7’ Tips for being more respectful to yourself, thus creating and enjoying higher levels of success.
1) Morning Ritual. While processing the day ahead think of three wins you’ll have. Imagine how you’ll create these wins and along with you who else will benefit. Imagine discussing these wins with a significant someone at the end of the day.
2) Take Note. It’s too easy to leave a meeting agonizing over something that you said or didn’t say. Instead of beating yourself up for a day or week, turn this into a learning opportunity. Note how you’ll do things differently next time. Write it down and carry on.
3) Be on time. Clients who are late for ‘everything’ give the impression that they are disorganized, thus are treated as such. It is a disruption and irritation to a meeting that is in progress to come in late. You see the look on others faces and the self criticism sets in. Do what you need to do to manage your time to arrive early and connect not only with the meeting topic but people involved.
4) Notice triggers. Certain situations, like major presentations or people, like an unappreciative board member may drive you directly into that ‘not good enough, time to beat myself up’ mode. Stop. Take a breath and ask what’s true. Replace familiar self criticism with a mantra for as in: “I rock all of my presentations because I am prepared” or “I bring value through my strong foundation of many, many successes”.
5) Evening evaluation. If you truly are your own worst enemy you likely toss and turn each night ruminating over what went wrong that day, what you didn’t say, do or accomplish. Have a notepad by your bed and instead of criticizing yourself, write down ten things you did right that day prior to going to sleep. Fill your mind and heart with these thoughts.
6) Question your inner critic. Don’t believe everything you think. If a thought crosses your mind that doesn’t make sense, question it. For example, you may come out of a stellar presentation and one person looked disinterested. Your thoughts may make up inaccurate stories about something you did wrong. He may have had a fight with his wife that morning and still be processing it, having nothing to do with you. Ask yourself what is the reality of the situation.
7) Laugh at your inner critic. OK, you have to admit that some of the nagging criticisms are a little funny. Are you really too tall, short, thin, heavy, loud, quiet, blond, brunette? A sense of humor goes a long way in quieting your inner ‘own worst enemy’.
You want respect from others, first give it to yourself. You want others to trust you, trust yourself. Every success you create begins with you.
I challenge you to select one of the above tips and begin today to quiet your inner critic and be your own best fan instead of enemy.
Ann Golden Eglé, MCC, executive and leadership coach, has steered highly-successful leaders and elite professionals to greater results in Bend since 1998. President of Golden Visions & Associates, LLC, Ann can be reached at 541-385-8887 or www.GVAsuccess.com.