Why are jobs insensitive to issues of infertility than they are to natural pregnancies?

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For the most part, people are generally excited for you when you make the big announcement that you’re pregnant. People start to plan baby showers and ask what all do you need… it’s a joyous occasion not only for you but also for those around you. Even on your job, your coworkers are excited for you and happy for you. So how come, when it comes to issues of infertility, most employers have very little sympathy or excitement for IVF treatments?

Well, that’s because infertility is looked at as a personal or private medical issue that’s not a policy that needs to be discussed with employers, per se… infertility is still a “hush-hush” condition that still receives backlash, especially from employers.

It seems as though when you conceive naturally, employers respond like this:

“Congratulations! We’re so happy for you and your pregnancy journey!”

But when you’re dealing with issues of infertility and you tell your employer what your plans are, their responses tend look a little more like this:

“We are so sorry. We completely understand what you’re going through, and support you 100%… but you still have a job to do.”

When you look at the two different responses, it’s pretty obvious that the first response is an employer that’s willing to be accommodating to their pregnancy. The second response makes you feel like they could care less what you’re going through and you can do what you need to do, as long as your work doesn’t suffer.

The second response can also feel like your job is being threatened if you so happen to need any time off to get the IVF treatments going. That reason alone is why you have to approach your employer strategically when bringing up IVF treatments.

Legally, you don’t have to tell your employer about your pregnancy until the 15th week before the baby is due. But when you’re having trouble conceiving and want to use IVF treatments, telling your employer of your pregnancy is a workplace challenge you don’t have to worry about just yet… you have to get over the hump of infertility first.

And don’t get discouraged about not being able to conceive naturally… According to the US Department of Health and Human Services, 6.1 million women in the US have trouble conceiving… that doesn’t make it normal but it is common. You just need to find a fertility clinic that specializes in the diagnosis and treatment of infertility.

Now, in speaking to your fertility specialist, there are a few things you need to do before you reveal your plans to your employer… You need to approach this strategically so as to not put your livelihood on the line. Is it fair? No. But is it something you have to consider? Absolutely.

Take a look at what you need to do with your employer before starting IVF treatments.

Strategizing Your Employment and IVF Treatment

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Determine How Much Time You’ll Need For Treatment

In the very beginning stages of your IVF journey, you’re going to need to look at your situation realistically and ask questions. You’re going to need to know in detail what your treatment plan will consist of, how many clinic visits will be early in the morning, what you need to do to prepare for the process, and how much time you’ll need off work after egg retrieval and embryo transfer?

You’ll need a realistic time frame from best case scenario to worst case scenario. You never know just how your body will react to this entire process so talk to your fertility specialist and they’ll be able to provide you with a realistic time frame to present to your employer.

Strategize a Plan Before Speaking With Your Employer

Before going to your employer, it’s going to be considerably helpful to have a plan in place as to how you plan to make up time in case you have to take time off or if early morning appointments will cause you to be late for work.

Maybe a coworker has offered to take on part of your workload or maybe you just will work over to make up the time. You can even offer to do certain tasks from home if that will be easier. Having a plan in place will help you to feel calmer about everything and it will also give you the confidence to speak to your boss, knowing your plan will work for you and your work responsibilities.

Determine How Much Information You Want to Disclose

More and more people are choosing to be more open about their fertility treatments, and that’s a good thing but sometimes, if you share too much information, it can work against you. You don’t have a legal responsibility to let your employer know about your fertility treatments but it’s just a good idea to let them know, in case you need time off from work… they’ll at least know why.

But even with that, you’re entitled to take time off from work without your job security being threatened, especially if you have the time for it. Just take careful note of what you disclose about your treatments so that it can’t be used against you later.